Every time something like that happened, every time I chided myself for not carrying an evangelistic tract - any gospel tract with me everywhere I go!!

This afternoon, the topic of the conversation even made me seriously consider whether I should offer the gentleman my compact Bible (it costs $30 or so)!

Anyway, the story goes like this:

Lately, I’ve been thinking that my brain needs a bit more workout. Just because it seems that I can’t memorise things as well as I could in the past.

One of the things I decided to help me in my effort to do that is memorising big chunks of the Bible - as I think the benefit would be more than just a brain workout.

I know I can do it, since I did it in the past. Once, as part of a Unichurch challenge (when it was either Phillip Jensen or Phil Wheeler’s time), I actually managed to memorise Exodus 20:1-17 (or maybe until v.20) - word for word!

So I know I can actually do it. And I’d been doing it from time to time. Just not recently. Anyway, I started again last weekend, though with shorter passages. And not a passage every day.

Came across Psalm 101 this morning and decided I’d memorise that one! - of course keeping in mind that is a Psalm of David.

And so that was what I was doing at Darling Harbour during lunch time today (with PDJ being away from CBS) - memorising Psalm 101!

I know I was taking a risk by memorising the Bible in such an open space like that and that someone might actually approach me for a conversation.

Being a sinful human being, I actually had to pray before I started that I would not be unfriendly should someone really decide to interrupt my “memorising session” and want to have a chat with me.

So when an old gentleman passing by asked me whether I was memorising Bible or dictionary, I quickly prayed and asked for God’s help for a heart to chat. (I usually prefer a quiet / alone lunch time being a receptionist and all).

Told myself that if I turn down people who want to have a chat about what I was doing, then it is really a sad thing and beating the whole purpose of memorising Bible passages! I’m really glad God answered my prayer and worked in my heart!

So had a chat about different religions, about making crosses when you pray, about reading and interpreting the Bible, about having church people as my family here, about Jesus (and who He is), about importance of relationship with Jesus above all else and of eternity above life we can have here. And all this in 10-15 mins or so. Amazing what you can chat with someone within that timeframe, eh? =)

I’ve learned and was reminded of a few more things today - things that would be helpful in carrying out a conversation with strangers - like trying to redirect the conversation to Jesus, to the Bible, making it personal (what do you think, do you read the Bible, etc etc). There is still much to be improved! I think I need to think of better way of bringing up topic of Jesus as Lord and Saviour and His death and resurrection, His sufficiency, and maybe the idea of church as family of God in this year of connect and also introducing people to St Andrew’s Cathedral… Hmmm…

Anyway, main lesson learnt: I need to carry a copy of Essential Jesus with me next time I decide to memorise my Bible during lunch time at Darling Harbour again! =)

Do you believe in divine providence?

I do!

Well, I usually do believe that God is in control of everything anyway, but something happened just now that brought the phrase to mind, and I’m so thankful to God for the way He worked things out tonight!

First, He made him chose the seat next to me in the meeting tonight. There were plenty of empty seats in that room, so that itself was something worth noting already.

Then, somehow, the meeting was run differently this time, including its prayer time. Usually, we prayed as a whole big group, led by two or three people. Tonight, we broke off into small groups of 2 or 3 people, and so you had to talk to the person next to you.

After that, nothing unusual seemed to happen… Things went as normal, and I even came to a conclusion that tonight was going to be my last night attending such meeting. That I was on my way out.

During the day, I planned to leave the meeting by 8.15. But somehow, along the way, I decided that maybe, I should just wait just a bit longer… Somehow, God changed my heart, and I ended up staying there until the meeting ended.

Then, of course, as predicted, I missed my bus by three minutes (I saw the bus from across the street!), even after running all the way to the bus stop. And so I had to wait for the next one. During those few minutes waiting for the next bus, I couldn’t help but think how stupid I was for not leaving just a few minutes earlier! But I guess, that’s why as human beings, we need to keep reminding ourselves that we don’t always have the big picture, while God does! =)

I guess, He always knows what He is doing…

The brother caught up to the bus stop just in time. We ended up catching the same bus. Seating next to each other because the other bus had passed just not long ago, and so there were quite a few empty seats on our bus!

He was a friendly brother in Christ, and a very good listener. So it was easy for me to share my thoughts with him. (If you do know me, it’s not that often that I’m willing to share my thoughts with people - at least, not just with anyone…) I guess, the topic of conversation that God made him chose at the start of our conversation also helped! =)

Anyway, I shared with him about my concerns and thoughts and he gave a very wise advice.

I am very thankful to God for the way things turned out tonight. And I’m especially most thankful for the conversation I had with the brother in the bus - which wouldn’t have happened if God doesn’t worked things out the way He did tonight though!

Somehow, he managed to convince me to stay. Sharing his own past experiences, and convincing me that the very reasons for my opting out should actually be my motivations and my reasons to stay put and persevere!

And so, I left the meeting with a resignation letter drafted in my mind…

I got off the bus with an amen to his parting words:

“I’ll see you next time - at least, one more meeting!”

PS: I know God doesn’t always worked things out the way He did. Neither did He have to do any of that. This is just simply a report of what He did do tonight. And it is something that I am very very thankful to Him for! =)

Two young people lost their lives to it last year. Both younger than me. One lost it within the span of half a year since the first diagnosis, the second within a year.

The year before that… a very close relative lost her life to it.

A few months ago, news was received that a dear friend is battling it…

And just tonight, found out that a daughter of a very dear family friend (who’s almost like a relative) is about to be defeated by it (!)

Finding it really hard to see the effects that it has. Not just on those who got it, but also on their loved ones, and every one else around them…

It used to be a stranger to me. A name without face… A concept unknown…

But now… Now I know why that word is so dreaded by people. Now I know the power that it holds on this side of heaven…

It is no longer a stranger… No longer faceless… No longer unknown.

Been wanting to post this since a few days ago. But been distracted by a few other things. Anyway, just read someone’s notes and I thought - now is probably a good time to post this…

Read this in one of the books I just finished reading, but plan to re-read since I started a while back: (warning: it’s in Old English. But the context should help you understand some difficult words. And it’s so worth your effort!)

I beseech you, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that none of you do run so lazily in the way to heaven as to hinder either yourselves or others. I know that even he which runs the laziest, if he should see a man running for a temporal life, if he should so much neglect his own well-being in this world as to venture, when he is a-running for his life, to pick up here and thee a lock of wool that hangeth by the wayside, or to step now and then aside out of the way to gather up a straw or two, or any rotten stick, I say, if he should do this when he is running for his life, thou wouldst condemn him; and dost thou not condemn thyself that dost the very same in effect, nay worse, that loiterest in thy race, notwithstanding thy soul, heaven, glory, and all is at stake. Have a care, have a care, poor wretched sinner, have a care!

From the Heavenly Footman by John Bunyan

Bunyan is one amazing writer! He has this great ability to tell a Biblical truth in a way that people can relate to in their lives!

If you haven’t got what’s written in the quote, then re-read it again! Isn’t what he said right? When you are running for your life - say chased by an angry bear or fire - would you stop every now and then to pick up “oh, cute-shaped rock!” or “ooh, look, a nice-coloured leaf!”? Seriously! Would you?!

Would you pay so much attention to what is along the path, collecting things - useless things that would slow you down in your effort to save your life??! Would you?!

What would you say if you see someone does that?! Wouldn’t you think that the person is dumb?! Plain stupid?! Losing his life for some rocks or leaves or twigs?!

Then, isn’t your soul - your eternal life even more important than your few years on this earth?! And so the race to save your eternal life is a lot more important than the race to save your earthly life?!

Shouldn’t we consider those collecting rocks, leaves, feather and twigs in their heavenly race, to be out of their minds then?! Shouldn’t we consider them plain stupid?!

What?! Losing your life because you languish?! Because those things slow you down?! So what if you collect the most twigs or feathers or rocks or leaves?! You still lose your life!

That’s sad… There is nothing to envy from them! That’s just plain sad!

As much as I enjoyed having a good discussion with my brothers and sisters in Christ about topic which seems to be interesting - like BGR… there are times when I’m just finding all those things a bit too much…

Too much not because I think they are out of lines, or because it is something I’m not comfortable talking about or anything like that… I’m just finding it all a bit too much because there is more to life than that…

I’m not saying BGR etc isn’t an important topic to talk about. I think it’s good to talk about how God’s Word should shape all aspects of our lives, BGR included. But yeah, I guess… I just have other things that is filling up my heart and my mind at the moment… things which makes hypothetical discussions - seem trivial…

If my memory doesn’t fail me, I think Josh once shared with us that on the night before his wedding, he prayed and asked God that Jesus would not return that night or that he won’t die that night. Just because he wanted to be married to Karen that much.

Honestly, I couldn’t relate to what he said at that time. Because up until this morning, I’d never been bothered by the possibility of Jesus returning or me being “called home” any time.

I guess, that’s not exactly true… I do feel the tension of wanting Jesus to come back now - and yet also wanting Him to wait for a bit. Just because I still have so many people who still have not acknowledged Him as Lord and Saviour yet.

But I am never bothered by the possibility of being called home any time He wants to call me home. I have nothing that would hold me back in this world. So I always feel ready to go home.

And yet, this morning, when my bus driver drove carelessly, I remember vaguely that I prayed and asked God to NOT be taken away from this world before this Thursday. At least Wednesday night after I had a chance to do what I need to do…

I have promised something to someone for Thursday, and I want to be able to keep my promise…

I know God can look after His people, and that He doesn’t have to use me. But the way He has created me has enabled me to feel for them. And I choose to be there for them in this way. And I am thankful for the privilege to serve them this way…

If I can ask of God, I don’t want to die before Thursday. At least not before Wednesday night when I’ve done what I need to do. Jesus can still return before then, as His return would set everything right anyway - and so my help would no longer be needed. But I don’t want to be called home when the people I gave my promise to will still be here.

I think, ever since I’ve become a Christian, this is the first time that I really feel the tension that Paul presented in his letter to the Philippians… How he prefers to die and be with Christ, but that he can see the value of his life for those he served.

I don’t want to be called home before Thursday. There is a family I’ve promised help. It might not be much at all. But I want to be there for them.

Maybe it’s just my circle of friends… or maybe it’s the number of people suffering and the depth of their sufferings that I’ve come to learnt over the past year… But really, when I see them and their lives, and when I think of them… I realise that I have no time and energy to worry about things that don’t really matter.

I have no energy to waste. No time to daydream about what the future might be or what could be better in my life etc.

There are better ways to use my time and energy - to encourage those people, to give them practical help or to just pray for them and let them know they are being prayed for… Or even if not them, there are other ways to use my time for the advancement of my Lord’s Kingdom in this world and in the hearts of His people around me…

I have been blessed with imperfect health, and limited energy… But that’ why I have to use all I’ve got for my Lord all the more! They are not limitless, and that’s why I want to give all that I have for Him (!) - because I don’t have much to start with…

But I am happy. =) Because I know my Lord doesn’t make mistakes. =) And that all that my Father does - is well….

What Our Father Does is Well
by Benjamin Schmolck, as found in the Cyber Hymnal.

What our Father does is well;
Blessèd truth His children tell!
Though He send, for plenty, want,
Though the harvest-store be scant,
Yet we rest upon His love,
Seeking better things above.

What our Father does is well;
Shall the willful heart rebel?
If a blessing He withhold
In the field, or in the fold,
Is it not Himself to be
All our store eternally?

What our Father does is well;
Though He sadden hill and dell,
Upward yet our praises rise
For the strength His Word supplies;
He has called us sons of God,
Can we murmur at His rod?

What our Father does is well;
May the thought within us dwell;
Though nor milk nor honey flow
In our barren Canaan now,
God can save us in our need,
God can bless us, God can feed.

Therefore unto Him we raise
Hymns of glory, songs of praise;
To the Father, and the Son,
And the Spirit, Three in One,
Honor, might, and glory be
Now, and through eternity.

There is nothing sadder than to see someone trading Jesus for something less than Him…

I mean, really… what can be so precious that someone is willing to trade His Lord and Saviour with it? A mere “it”?!

Sure, the “it” might be considered priceless in the world’s eyes - or even in the eyes of some who consider themselves “Christians” - but it’s still an “it“! It’s just an “it“!

Who in their right mind would trade the Prince of Life and the Lord of Glory with an “it”?! Why would anyone in their right mind want to do that?!

I mean, what’s the use of gaining the whole world and yet losing your life?! Losing eternity?! Losing the most precious relationship and the most precious Person in your life? In your eternal life?!

Really!! Just unthinkable!

. . . . .

And yet - even after a post written with such fiery emotions, I know that at the end of the day, it is only by the grace of God that we are helped to persevere…

And so I pray for mercy… and strength to persevere when faced with anything that would draw me away from my Christ…

——

Take the world, but give me Jesus,
All its joys are but a name;
But His love abideth ever,
Through eternal years the same.

Refrain
Oh, the height and depth of mercy!
Oh, the length and breadth of love!
Oh, the fullness of redemption,
Pledge of endless life above!

Take the world, but give me Jesus,
Sweetest comfort of my soul;
With my Savior watching o’er me,
I can sing though billows roll.
Refrain

Take the world, but give me Jesus,
Let me view His constant smile;
Then throughout my pilgrim journey
Light will cheer me all the while.
Refrain

Take the world, but give me Jesus.
In His cross my trust shall be,
Till, with clearer, brighter vision,
Face to face my Lord I see.
Refrain

Words by Fanny Crosby
Music by John R Sweney
As found in the CyberHymnal (new link): http://www.hymntime.com/tch/htm/t/t/ttwbgmej.htm

With all the discouraged hearts around me, it is hard to leave them be without saying anything…

However, instead of saying something myself, I’ll let a godly man of old by the name of Henry Francis Lite, to be the one giving the exhortation to those who need to hear it, and in the process - answering his night-fall prayer…

May his prayers be answered, may his song light in one drooping soul a hallowed fire or bind one broken heart, and may all these bring glory to God! =)

———

Jesus, I my cross have taken, all to leave and follow Thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken, Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition, all I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition! God and Heaven are still mine own.

Let the world despise and leave me, they have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me; Thou art not, like them, untrue.
And while Thou shalt smile upon me, God of wisdom, love and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me, show Thy face and all is bright.

Go, then, earthly fame and treasure! Come, disaster, scorn and pain!
In Thy service, pain is pleasure; with Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee, “Abba, Father”; I have set my heart on Thee:
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather, all must work for good to me.

Man may trouble and distress me, ’twill but drive me to Thy breast.
Life with trials hard may press me; heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, ’tis not in grief to harm me while Thy love is left to me;
Oh, ’twere not in joy to charm me, were that joy unmixed with Thee.

Take, my soul, thy full salvation; rise o’er sin, and fear, and care;
Joy to find in every station something still to do or bear:
Think what Spirit dwells within thee; what a Father’s smile is thine;
What a Savior died to win thee, child of heaven, shouldst thou repine?

Haste then on from grace to glory, armed by faith, and winged by prayer,
Heaven’s eternal day’s before thee, God’s own hand shall guide thee there.
Soon shall close thy earthly mission, swift shall pass thy pilgrim days;
Hope soon change to glad fruition, faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

Hymn taken from: the Cyber Hymnal.

Some of us in the office had the privilege to be addressed by Archbishop Nicholas Okoh of Nigeria yesterday morning.

He came to visit our office because of the long-time link that our organisation has with the Anglican Church of Nigeria.

I did not realise how big of an Anglican figure he is until after he left the office. But it was his address that was most powerful and encouraging that I would like to “preserve” in my blog… However, knowing that he isn’t just “any man” and for fear of misquoting him, I’ve decided to include a disclaimer here that all noted down here are just personal recollection of a failing memory.

Archbishop Okoh is such a charismatic figure (charismatic as in full of charisma). He spoke with such power and confidence - not loud, but powerful. And the content of his message was most encouraging!

He addressed us as his brothers and sisters in Christ, and reminded us to stand firm and hold fast to the truth of the Scriptures. He said that some people might accuse them illiterate or backward - living out a faith that is outdated, inherited from old-time missionaries. But he told us that they are just holding fast to what the Scriptures is saying. He said that the gospel might have been given to them (by the missionaries from the west), but they are not going to give them back - they received it and have made it their own. They aren’t giving it back.

He also reminded us not to be ashamed of mission - of taking the gospel out to unbelievers. Some, he said, might have apologised for it. But there is nothing to be ashamed about mission. It is those people (who apologised) who are wrong. We have done nothing wrong. We have nothing to be ashamed of. He encouraged us to be bold.

I didn’t really watch Obama’s speeches on TV. I could see that he is a powerful and charismatic leader and orator. And I know that some people have that ability - or so I learned from my history lessons - like Indonesian first president Soekarno. But I don’t think I’ve ever been in the presence of one. Someone who speaks the truth (without script!) so powerfully that it really moved you!

But I know that the main cause for my being moved was the content of his message… because what I remember most now is not how great I was feeling back then. What I remember most is what he said about the Scriptures and courage in mission. And the fact that he is a leader and representative of my many brothers and sisters - back in Africa - separated by oceans and lands, but united, in the truth of the gospel of Christ.

“Can you draw out Leviathan with a fishhook
or press down his tongue with a cord?

Can you put a rope in his nose
or pierce his jaw with a hook?

Will he make many pleas to you?
Will he speak to you soft words?

Will he make a covenant with you
to take him for your servant forever?

Will you play with him as with a bird,
or will you put him on a leash for your girls?

Will traders bargain over him?
Will they divide him up among the merchants?

Can you fill his skin with harpoons
or his head with fishing spears?

Lay your hands on him;
remember the battle—you will not do it again!

Behold, the hope of a man is false;
he is laid low even at the sight of him.

No one is so fierce that he dares to stir him up.

Who then is he who can stand before me?
Who has first given to me, that I should repay him?

Whatever is under the whole heaven is mine.”

The LORD speaking to Job as recorded in Job 41.

* Leviathan is translated as crocodile in Indonesian - and so the picture. But even if the word actually refers to a dinosaur/dragon as some people think, I was still reminded of this passage and the strength and majesty of the beast mentioned in this passage when I looked at the really thick skin of that crocodile!

When languor and disease invade
This trembling house of clay,
’Tis sweet to look beyond my pains,
And long to fly away.

Sweet to look inward, and attend
The whispers of His love;
Sweet to look upward to the place
Where Jesus pleads above.

Sweet to look back, and see my name
In life’s fair book set down;
Sweet to look forward and behold
Eternal joys my own.

Sweet to reflect how grace divine
My sins on Jesus laid;
Sweet to remember that His blood
My debt of suffering paid.

Words: Augustus M. Toplady, in the Countess of Huntingdon’s Collection, 1780, number 238.
Music: Aberdeen, possibly by Andrew Tait, in James Chalmers’ untitled collection, 1749; melody from Rudiments of Music, by Robert Bremner, 1756.
As found in: the Cyber Hymnal

The young lions look to you, to give them their food in due season....